Teenagers and NLP

by Keith Gilbert Grad.Cert.N.L.P.

You can only give what you have.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the field of study and application in modelling human excellence and accelerated learning. And NLP is more than just learning and high performance. In fact, NLP is about how humans communicate. It is about how we influence each other. It is about how some people encourage themselves and others to make the most of their human potential, while others can encourage themselves and others to limit themselves?

Before NLP the best you could do was believe what your parents and other adults believed. With the development of NLP we now know that we can actually do better than beliefs.

The weird thing about the world of adults is that even though your ability and freedom to choose whatever you want is the most important thing in your life many adults spend a lot of time discouraging it, while spending a similarly large amount of time encouraging you to go in directions that they think are best for you. Which, you'll agree, is very strange when you consider that so many adults spend a lot of time reading about and doing self-development programs. And what are they doing self-development for?

To create more choice for themselves!

They recognise that they want more out of life and have discovered that they don't know how to get it. And even worse they have discovered that much of what they do, the choices they have made and the behaviours they have done, they do unconsciously, automatically, and to satisfy other peoples' expectations. You could say that they are discovering that their lives have not been their own.

And how is it that they think they don't have enough choice?

Well, they were influenced by the adults before them and what gets passed on from generation to generation a lot of the time are very limiting ways of thinking.

That's where NLP comes in. NLP is the most advanced system of learning available today that shows you how your mind works and how to make the most of it.

NLP, for all you teenagers out there, can be used like a mental martial art. But what exactly are you defending yourself from? Unfortunately there are many adults whose thinking is very limited. We started this article with 'You can only give what you have' and if a person's thinking is limited then that is all that person will have to give. The adults around you have influenced you since you were born. Think about that. All the adults around you have limitations in their thinking. You will have noticed these in their expectations of you and the myriad ways in which they have imposed their beliefs and ideals... as opposed to encouraging you to think for yourself and asking you what you want to think.

As a child you did not have the ability to discern what was most useful and so you emulated all of the behaviours that you saw adults doing. The thing is, most of your behaviour is unconsciously motivated too. That means that what you believe you can and cannot do has a lot to do with how you were influenced throughout your life. You developed or took on beliefs, ways of thinking, without consciously knowing that you were. And that's OK you know, it's part of how our human neurology works. What you may not have been exposed to is that you can now choose to change your thinking when you discover limiting ideas you have that are stopping you from having the experiences that you want. And how would you recognise if your behaviour is the result of limiting beliefs? The short answer is that you're not enjoying yourself as much as you would like to. The longer answer is if you are experiencing any of the following,

• Attention Deficit Disorder
• Hyperactivity
• Laziness
• Disinterest in learning
• Shyness
• Bullying ?| being bullied
• Hopelessness
• Depression
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Low self-esteem
• Eating disorders - obesity
• Problems with body image
• Crime
• Hostility and violence
• Loneliness
• Alcohol and drug abuse
• Attempts at suicide...

... then you're probably trying to live according to other peoples' expectations and ignoring those things that you really want to be passionate about.

With NLP you can explore your freedom to choose in the safest possible way. You want to express yourself and you want to be able to choose what you want to do. In fact, rebelling against adult expectations and impositions is very, very healthy. I mean, really, where's the fun in living life according to someone else's script when you could be writing your own? And when you consider the above list of behaviours, well, they're signs that you've given into others' expectations of you and perhaps you are not clear about what you really want.

The thing is you can rebel in ways that are healthy and you can also do it in ways that are not. If you want to do it in a healthy way then you can use NLP, which means you won't have to rely on alcohol or drugs or dangerous behaviours to generate those states of mind where you can experience your own personal freedom. You can enjoy those things but the important thing with NLP is that you don?ft have to rely on them.

You could think of NLP as both your survival kit and your life enhancement program. Adults can only give what they have and so one of the things you can do with NLP is to become more aware of how people are influencing you in ways that are not in your best interests. Then you can choose to do those things that suit you.

Rather than wait for the adults around you to catch up you can learn how to ask the question, "What do I want?"  Which is a very different question to, "What should I do that the adults around me will find acceptable?"  NLP is free of beliefs and impositions. You see, rather than impose upon you ideas of morality, right and wrong, good and bad, should's and should not's, you can use NLP to find what you want. We want to create an environment where you can experiment and discover for yourself what's right for you.

At the end of the day the purpose of your life is to have all the experiences you want to have and NLP is the technology of choice. Your parents are just as keen to have you learn NLP too. They want you to have the freedom that they are working towards as well.

You see self-development isn't for adults only. It's not rated 'R'.  With NLP you can make your life your own and do what you want. 

Leesa Schuh and Keith Gilbert are the authors of the soon to be published "Teenagers; Your Essential Guide to the Weird World of... Adults. 2nd Edition".

Keith Gilbert.